The Seven (Plus Six) Week Itch: Seeing Your New Home in All Its Pudgy Glory
Three months and suddenly Vietnam and I have hit a wall in our relationship. The initial crush has cooled down and we are facing the stark reality of each other. The honking of traffic has become too loud. The rain has become too frequent. The scooters, too many. And Vietnam seems equally annoyed with me. Why else is he sending these obstacles to trip me up? He won’t let me go to the beach (What? I’m I too fat for you now?). He sends mosquitoes to keep me in line at night.
We’re on shaky ground.
Leave Halloween to the Professionals
And who would like to volunteer for the Halloween committee? asks my principal at the staff meeting. Simultaneously every American hand in the room goes up.
One Aussie bravely offers, I could, um, help with the, um, apple game?
We can’t help but laugh a little under our breaths. That’s alright, mate, go back to shrimp on the barbey. We’ve got this one covered. Our principal nods understandingly. Best leave Halloween to the Yanks.
Although PC dictates the world around us, there is a time and place to say the real, startling truth. So here it goes: Americans are the best Halloween party planners in the world.
Typhoon Approaching
Yes, folks, there’s a typhoon headed our way…again. Da Nang, Vietnam is forecast to be rocked by Mother Nature in T-minus five hours. And I’m ready. A few weeks ago there was rumor of a typhoon (complete with much stocking up of canned goods and beer) only for it to fizzle into heavy rain by the time it reached the coast. For most people, this is a good thing, but I was disappointed. I had been looking forward to sending home harrowing stories of swimming through city streets.
Having never actually been in a typhoon I assume they are a fun excuse to cuddle up indoors for a few days and then awaken to a wonderful new world of romantic canals and impromptu gondolas. I imagine calling for a canoe to paddle me around town once the storm is over. There might even be a parasol involved. And all the while that I am living comfortably in my post-typhoon water world I will be earning bragging rights for surviving a natural disaster. It’s surely a win-win.
Love in a Time of Karaoke
Love is mandatory in Vietnam. While places like Vegas and Rio beckon you to the glitter of singledom, Da Nang is decidedly monogamous. Just ask any of the trillion couples camped out along the Da Nang promenade oblivious to the roar of scooters, children and dogs around them. Their love blinds them from remembering to look before they cross the street – or look before they walk straight into me. But I don’t mind being stopped in the name of love.
After all there is nothing quite so beautiful as love in a time of karaoke.
Vietnamese Cooking with a Grilled Cheese Flair
Yes I will eat you. Right now.
More and more people are choosing to take cooking classes when they travel. The sheer number of misspelled Cooking School signs around Da Nang, Vietnam gives me the idea that Vietnamese cooking is hot on the culinary scene. So, being a sheep, I have joined in the foodie addiction splendour – I am officially going to take a Vietnamese cooking class.
The Little Dragon Who Went to School
A few weeks late, but fantastic nonetheless.
Remember how excited you used to get for show and tell at school? Or how you’d jump around when your mom brought in class cupcakes for your birthday? Remember how amazing it was when the teacher would let you use the glitter markers? Or make you line leader for the day? Now imagine being a nine-year-old once again and welcoming a surprise visitor. No, he’s not the principal, or somebody’s dad. He’s a dragon – a dancing lion dragon who does gymnastics on teeny, tiny suspended discs and then wiggles his dragon butt when you pet him.
Ahhhh!!!! Best day ever!!!!!!!!!
…That’s what Friends are For (puke)
Isn’t it wonderful to travel to new places? Isn’t it divine to climb new mountains, explore unknown caves and walk along the shores of foreign beaches?
Sure. But it can be lonely. Coming to a new place means leaving behind all familiarities, from well-loved family members to delicious Ranch dressing. Travel guarantees moments of awkwardness, discomfort and – above all – a hyper awareness that you are all alone in the great big yonder.
And so it’s great to meet friends.
Old Snobs, Riding Elephants
Old means different things to different people. At age 16, 27 seems old. At age 27, 67 seems old. At age 67, it’s 97 that’s really wicked old. And I assume by the time you’re 97 you’re too old to bother with old. It’s the same with buildings. In USA anything over 20 years is old. 100 years? Ancient. Meanwhile over in Granddaddy Europe a 100 year building is barely out of diapers. It’s all relative. But here in Asia old should be Old. After all, the Vietnamese people have existed for something like 45 million years. Or 4,000. Some big number of years. So naturally they should have some 45 million year old buildings, or at least 4,000. Really anything over 500 will do.
It was with this flawlessly educated mindset that I recently trekked away through jungle and o’er mountains far to reach the ancient imperial city of Hue.
Eternal Weekend
Sigh. Why couldn’t it stay Sunday afternoon at Intercontinental, Da Nang forever? There’s something magical about a whole day dedicated to beautiful scenery (and unlimited champagne) that puts you in the mood for Weekend. Just add a few key players from California, UK and Aus (and a few much missed ones from South Africa and USA) and you’ve got the perfect moment of travel.
In Defense of Ugly
Beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder. Although it may be indefinable and indescribable, it is also undeniable – certain things are beautiful. And others aren’t. The Taj Mahal: beautiful. The city dump: not. Sure there are the artsy among us who find beauty where it isn’t, but I’m talking about cheerleader shallow pretty; the things that smack you as gorgeous the moment you meet. They are the pristine snow topped mountain peaks that show off on the covers of travel blogs. They’re the magnificent old architecture that makes Paris Paris and London London. They may be interesting. They may be historical. Above all they are beautiful.
So what about the ugly things? What good are they to us? Why hang out with the zitty adolescent of travel destinations when you could be with the prom queen? Is there any value to ugly?
beyonddisneytraveltips 