Old and New Balance
All my energy is spent on New. New students, new environment, new friends. The New is intriguing and necessary. But at this particular moment of lull, it’s the old and taken-for-granted which grabs my interest. In my current obsession with New I don’t want to leave out learning more about that which has become recently Old.
A song came on just now that reminded me of my Gram and Gramps. Old people, an old relationship, which should be by some accounts be done and dusted. I grew up down the street from them and knew them better than any-most. Yet, basic, human answers about who they were and how they felt allude me. I know them thoroughly as grandparents and in capacity to me, but in a less self-centered nature, they remain mysterious.
A new move requires new energies and new humilities. I must perpetually put myself out there to meet those who might one day become a new generation of old and taken-for-granted friendships. I must also recognize and respect that I am the new kid in town and conversations which started before my arrival must continue uninterrupted while I find a comfortable position on the sidelines. Just as I say to new students in my class, “Watch first and ask questions at the end.” It is my comfort zone that’s been gerrymandered; not theirs.
But my Old deserves attention, too. I moved here in large part to reconnect with those whose relationships I may have neglected whilst away. My family, my golden friendships stand at the forefront of motivation. But in the day-to-day reality of being all on my lonesome on the pine tree fabulously forested West Coast, my practical priority is to integrate with the in-front-of-me. I’ve found friendly, fabulous and the potential for real, true friendship.
There must be balance, then. New mustn’t trump Old. Happy Hour mustn’t overshadow History. My move home was part of something more important than the immediate. I must keep my eye on the larger prize of family, health and more lofty happiness. But also enjoy these great New opportunities.