The Ridiculous Signs You Meet Abroad
When you’re at home finding a typo in a billboard is just annoying. Doesn’t someone check for those things? Did they seriously pay to have a sign put up that says, “Come eat at our restaurant – best chief in town”? Or how about those signs that just undermine themselves – pictures of smiling chickens warning you not to drink and drive? Who makes them? It’s painful.
And yet those same human errors and misjudgements strike you in a totally different way when you’re a tourist in someone else’s country. The same irritating spelling mistakes and ridiculous slogans and store names become, well… funny.
The Romance and Reality of Traveling
Everything’s ready. Your ticket’s booked, your suitcase is packed and you’re ready to go. You’re set to be the star of your own American in Paris or bask in The Beach’s exotic locale. You’re hungry for pasta in the Eternal City and keen to live out the adventures of Vicky and Cristina in Barcelona. You’re ready for the romance of travelling.
But what happens when an ugly apartment block ruins the Parisian skyline or you find more McDonald’s than quaint cafes? What happens when your idea of a place clashes with its reality?
Thanksgiving as an Expat
Becoming an expatriate is often the result of travelling. You find a place, fall in love with the scenery (or, in my case, a cute guy with a foreign accent) and suddenly find yourself putting up curtains in a new home overseas. You experience excitement, confusion and frustration, often at the same time. You meet new friends, miss your old ones and learn to balance the complex relationships you have with both of the countries in your life.
When Mild is Spicy and Now is Later
You’ve been there. Your eyes run almost as fast as your nose. Your tongue sticks out Gene Simmons style begging for water like you’ve been rescued from the desert. At some point you may begin to rock back and forth or curl into a ball. You might not realize how you look at the time, but your buddies will be sure to imitate it for years to come once you’re back home. Sometime after the burning (and sobbing) has subsided you laugh, or try to laugh, at yourself and remember you can’t handle the spicy curry in India.
Welcome to looking like an idiot.
Too Old for Hostels?
Travel is the great equalizer between ages. Maybe you can’t teach old dog new tricks, but you can teach it to pick a point on a map and go there. Just think how many people use retirement as their starting point for travel. Travelling is open to people of all age because it’s only as comfortable or hectic as you make it. You can find travellers in strollers or in wheelchairs.
So if you’re never too old to travel, is it possible that you can ever be too old for hostels?
Travelling Alone
You’ve been part of the buddy system since you were born. You’re trained to work in partners, play together at recess and eat lunch surrounded by friends. You throw pizza parties with other kids your age and maybe even wear Best Friends bracelets. In college you have a roommate in your miniature dorm and share your professors with hundreds of other students. You move from casually dating someone to sharing a house, a bed, sometimes even a toothbrush. You enter the real world where you work with colleagues on new projects and collaborate on new ventures. You are an expert at operating alongside others.
So why would you want to travel alone?
You’re Still A Tourist
You’re Not a Local Unless You Are
How long does it take to really get to know a place? How long before you can confidentially say you’ve “been there”? Does a layover in an airport count as having visited a place? Does it take an overnight stay? A week? A month?
How to Sniff Out the Crazy
Whether you’re at home or overseas it’s important that you take your vitamins, put on sunscreen and, of course, Beware of the Crazies (or BOTC, as a tribute to my last post, TIA). Perhaps you’ve managed to surround yourself with semi-normals and are unaware of, or have simply forgotten the workings of the Crazies. Fortunately for you, I encounter Crazies both in travels and in my hometown, and am well versed in their antics.
The most important thing to remember about Crazies is that they make terrible travel companions. Sure, they might seem tons-of-fun at first and get you to “push your limits” by riding zebras bareback or getting a traditional (read: painful) Thai tattoo. But once the initial adrenaline (and tequila) wears off you’ll be left with one over hyped ball of nuts.
What might be "fun" on day 1 becomes "crazy" by day 5
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