Well hello there, international pandemic and social media influencer, Coronavirus! Sorry, I meant #coronavirus, or #CoronavirusOutbreak – which do you prefer to go by?

[Laughs nervously.] Umm…whatever. Coronavirus, I guess. Coron.

Well then, Coron, thanks for coming on today. You are just everywhere these days. How does it feel to be the most talked about sensation of the year?

Yeah, I never really anticipated this level of hype. I just thought, you know, I’d be just another ignored disease as long as I stayed in Asia and Africa. But then white people picked me up, and things just went wild.

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