Finding Time for Time
Baby Little has changed my concept of time. In just four and a half months Little has transformed from an itty-bitty bundle of newborn into a strong, plump, cherry cheeked full baby. Already her tiny rosebud mouth has grown into a bigger constant smile. The precious little joke face she made as an infant has given way to a newly found belly laugh. The epic stretches she did throughout her first weeks are no longer necessary to make her comfortable. As she’s moved on from certain newborn-isms, she’s discovered ways to move her body and show off with he-man style ab crunches and impressive locked-knee standing. She’s learned to “talk”, forgotten about it while she focused on sitting up, and come back to it recently with new and improved sounds. Each day Little learns something new, does something different and grabs each minute by the horn. She is the poster baby for living in the present.
Watching her enjoy each day has made me see time differently. As a serial daydreamer with one thought in the future and another running over the to-do list, I am rarely fully present. Even with Little here, living distracted is a hard habit to break. In fact, my biggest “mommy guilt” comes from my own parental distraction as I catch myself checking Facebook while breastfeeding. Little is front and center of my priorities, yet it can still be hard to put down my phone. But it’s gotten a lot better.
Little has made me recognize that all the clichés are true; today is the only today we get and the present turns out to be a gift after all. This time and these todays are especially special, as my little Little grows from newborn to baby so very quickly. Now is when I am so, so lucky that my full-time job is to snuggle and be with her – oh, and do a bit of laundry. Now is when she discovers her fist and next her fingers, only to wonder where her fist went. Now is when her call can be my alarm clock and we can afford to spend as much time as we want playing on the blanket under the Christmas tree. Now is when the changing table is a place to sing and kick as well as get a new diaper. This is the very special time when all three of us – JD, Little and I are here at home and can have lunch together every single day. Now is when Grammy lives just around the corner instead of across the world; Grandpa and Grandma are only an hour’s drive away and we talk to Cool Aunt Nat and Uncle Scoot in the same time zone (almost). Now is when BB can come visit and we can plan a trip to meet the rest of the SA family without having to consider a school schedule. Time is particularly special right now.
Time continues to move along and demand changes as it goes, and I don’t fight it. It is wonderful to watch how Little grows, but I don’t dwell too much on her four-month past or focus all too much on her future. The now is just too intriguing, too invigorating, too sweet baby cute to overlook.
Little makes it worthwhile to find time for time.